Life in OM

Life in OM: There's No Crying in Yoga!

Actually, there is.

Sometimes there are ton's of tears and it is so very important for you to know that it's ok.

In fact, it's one of the best things that can happen to you.

Years ago I was attending my weekly yoga class when I went back into child's pose and started to cry. A few tears turned into a torrent and I rolled up my mat and raced to my car where I continued to sob like a baby.

I got so freaked out at my weakness that I stopped going.

Then the whole world came crashing in.

At the time, I had just experienced an awful break-up, was having extreme self-esteem issues and was punishing my body in every way possible.  My unhappiness with myself and everything in my world had reached new heights.

All of those emotions were pent up in my physical body as well as my mind and yoga was helping me release them, helping me heal.

Instead of giving myself that chance, I got scared and left.

Things went from bad to worse and everything just seemed to spiral out of control. Modern medicine was trying to "fix" me and I had zero interest in doing anything beneficial for myself.  

Nothing was helping and I was sick of everything.

Then, in a rare moment of clarity a thought popped into my head: life was better with yoga.  

Through the ups and downs of my time on this planet, life was always better with yoga.

I went back to my class with an open heart and again I cried. It was amazing, cathartic, healing...it was everything I couldn't give to myself. 

Getting my act together did not happen overnight and there are still rare moments when I feel less than 100% content with myself. But 7 years later I know I am a complete, whole person who isn't missing anything. 

My practice gave me this.

Don't be afraid if you turn on the waterworks during your vinyasas. Yoga helps us realize and release those emotions that begin to eat away at us in unhealthy ways.

Any good yoga teacher knows this and will make it as comfortable as possible for you to let go.

Yoga can do incredible things if you let it, including healing a person from the inside out, so rest assured that tears in your yoga class are excellent and nothing to be ashamed of.

Life in OM: No One Is Coming

A few years ago I picked up A Year of Living Your Yoga: Daily Practices to Shape Your Life by Judith Hanson Lasater. I opened the book to June 26 and read "No one is coming". 

It took my breath away and made my stomach churn at the same time. Although I had always been content living on my own it wasn't until that moment that I realized in some ways I had been waiting rather than living.  Lasater let me off the hook and scared the hell out of me  with four words.

Women have it a bit rough. We're constantly bombarded by stories and images that lead us to believe we are not complete until we have another person in our lives. Even if we overcome that and are content with being alone, part of us might still be holding out for what we think is a requirement.

Once I realized no one was coming, I was empowered. I felt that my life was wholly my own and I needed to enjoy every moment of it. I decided to finally take that trip to England that I had been putting off for years. Two weeks in London all alone and it was one of the best vacations I have ever had.

That trip prompted me to leave a job I was unhappy with and slowly I started moving forward in all the areas of my life where I had been subconsciously waiting.

You don't have to be single to appreciate "No One is Coming". Even if you're with someone, they are not there to make you happy. You need to seek out the things you love whether you share your life with someone or not. Don't put yourself on hold. As Ms Lasater stated so wisely "Salvation comes from no one else...it comes from within."  So stop waiting..Go Now...Live! 

My Love-Hate Relationship with Bikram Yoga

I dislike Bikram Yoga. Perhaps that's a bit harsh. My relationship with Bikram yoga is severely challenged. 

Let me back up for those who are not yoga inclined. Bikram Yoga is done in 105˚ F/ 40.5˚C and 40% humidity. It's 26 set poses and 2 breathing exercises. There are no vinyasas, no downward dogs and no flow- in all honesty you really can't move around that much in this heat without passing out. So you just do one pose, stay still and repeat.

If you have ever been in 105 degree weather you will understand when I say that this is not just hot, its oppressive. The kind of hot when you inhale you feel like your lungs are disintegrating from the inside out.  

Have I mentioned the sweat?  I have been running and cycling for over 10 years, played sports and enjoy tropical beaches - I have never seen sweat like this.  I knew I was in trouble when, after the first forward bend, I noticed my shins were actually sweating.  I also must mention that every time my head went below my waist a deluge of sweat would shoot up my nose. Remember when you were a kid and you tried to do a back flip in the pool only to make it half way and come right back up?  Yeah, that kind feeling.

Then there is the smell. I have been lucky enough in this life to never smell a rotting corpse but I am going to guess that the odor in this yoga class comes pretty close. Luckily, you're so intent on trying to suck in oxygen through the heat and the sweat that the smell takes a back seat.  

Why then do I go?  As annoying and frustrating as it is for me to admit this, I actually feel amazing afterwards. Well, not directly afterwards because my body usually spends the rest of the day reacclimating itself to air conditioning but by the next morning the wear and tear of everyday life is just gone.

It has been almost magical for my marathon training. Time permitting I sometimes get to go once a week on Saturday. I try to schedule it before my long weekend run. Oddly enough, I run faster and without the usual back, knee and hamstring discomfort I usually contend with.

Now I need to put in a disclaimer here: I am a vinyasa teacher and I absolutely love the style and more importantly the philosophy of the yoga I teach. It is so much more than just poses for me so I'm not comparing the two. 

However, as much as I hate to admit it, heating up my muscles once a week with Bikram really does seem to be beneficial for me, even if it does feel like medieval torture when I'm practicing.

The bottom line here is don't be afraid to try anything; you never know when something you dislike might actually be good for you.