Life in OM

Life in OM: Zen and the Art of Planning

We all have some sort of planning system. For years I used Outlook on my computer at work that had a sync to my smart phone. I kept all of my appointments and contacts there. At the time that's all I thought I really needed in order to plan my week. Unfortunately, for security reasons I no longer have the option of using this system at work (no cell phones or syncing to computers allowed!) so I had to look for an alternative.

I really had no idea the meditative and introspective qualities planning has - seriously! It really does and I will explain further.

So I bought a Planner Pad because I had heard very good things about it and it's set up like this:

The top section you list your weekly activities by category, the middle section you put in your daily things to do and then this funnels down to the bottom section where you make the actual appointments. Notes/calls are on the side. There are also pages in the back that are lined to help you track goals etc. At around $25.00 each they aren't bad.

This was the first time in my planning that I sat down and actually thought about all of the different hats I wear and what I had to do for each and that was very beneficial. However, the funneling thing just wasn't working for me which led to me not using the planner as much as I should have. I know some people adore this planner but it just wasn't working with my brain.

Then I moved on to Franklin Covey. I really debated about getting a one year spiral bound planner or buying a really nice binder with their entire Master Planner system.

You see I need as much Master Planning as I can get. Not only do I have a hectic schedule with a full time job, teaching yoga, wellness coaching, taking care of myself and trying to have a relationship but add to that I am trying to plan a wedding for September 2010 and I need a whole hell of a lot of master planning!

First let me say that it is an investment. I spent about $70 total for the binder and the system but I just cannot sing its praises enough.

Here is my very swanky binder and it's not huge, smaller than a sheet of paper but not a pocket size binder.

So what is this Master Planner system and why do I feel like it has brought a sense of Zen to my weekly planning? First, there are sections in the back of the planner that take you through some exercises to realize what your values, mission and goals are. Part of this is determining all of the roles you have.  This is really the backbone of the system and I get to start each week off by filling out one of these:

The first section are the things I am going to so for myself this week, mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Then each section is a particular role I have. HR manager, yoga teacher, wellness coach, student, bride to be, etc.  For each of them I write down the big goals I want to accomplish for just this week. This little guy then goes into my clear bookmark and everyday I open my planner up and am reminded of what I need to do. Then I plan my days accordingly.

It has monthly tabs so I can see each month at a glance and then it has two pages for each day. 
Here I can write in my daily to do's by priority, appointments and any notes I need to write. So I don't have post it's everywhere or need to carry an additional notebook. Everything is right here. There are additional tabs and note pages in the back if I am planning a special project and tons of other little goodies.

So why does this system work for me, maybe its because I take the time to look at what I want to accomplish in the week from all different levels. Then I can take each day as it comes rather than trying to see a whole week at a time.

This system makes me reflect. I take 20 minutes every Sunday to sit down and really evaluate how I am going to take care of myself and what I am going to accomplish in each of my roles for the week. I never get too far ahead of myself and I don't feel overwhelmed. I am also addressing all of the areas of my life, not just the professional ones.

I realize that this system won't work for everyone but I thought I would share how it really has profoundly changed how I do things. I feel that I really have grasped a little bit of Zen when it comes to my organization and planning now.

 

 

Life in OM: Moving House (or Cleaning it)

 

Have you seen that show Hoarders?  I haven't watched it but the advertisements make my skin crawl. I honestly don't know how people live with tons of crap.

In the past 10 years I have moved 6 times- the 6th time this past week. It's not really a conscious decision to keep moving but it just happened to work out that way. With each move I found I was throwing more stuff out and moving less and less. At that point in my life,  I was practicing non-attachment and didn't even know it.

Now I'm not saying go out and get rid of all of your things but every 6 or 12 months take inventory of what you have and decide if it's something you need or is it just taking up space.

Clutter makes your life and your space messy and complicated. You know that great feeling you have after cleaning out your closet- that's how it feels when your surroundings are clean, simple and organized.

Here are a few tips for keeping things uncomplicated:

Books, DVD's, CD's or any other kind of Media- Lord of the Rings was so cool when it first came out but four years later How to Speak Elvish is just not getting that much face time. So if you haven't picked it up in a year or you've lost interest in it, sell it.  Amazon makes it so simple to sell your unwanted items and you can make quite a few dollars doing it.

Clothes- I used to be one of those people that kept everything. It either belonged to the school of one day I'll fit into it or I'll hold on to it just in case I need a bigger size. Living in the present moment is not just about your mental state, it's also about your wardrobe.  If it doesn't fit and it hasn't in a year get rid of it.  If you owned it when you were 18- bin it. If you look at it and cannot understand for the life of you why you bought it, say goodbye.  But don't throw your clothes or shoes out. Put them in bags and donate them. There are drop off bins everywhere and there is always someone who could use them.

Furniture: Is it old, ratty or a horrifying shade of hot pink?  Do you have TV's from the black and white era?  Is your garage full of bikes that never get ridden? Throw away the old stuff and give what's in decent shape to goodwill.

Cleaning house is really about taking stock of your life. Where are you now?  How different are you from the person you were 2, 3 or 5 years ago. The past is gone and letting go of it also means letting go of the physical clutter that comes with it. 

Remember you are not tossing away the memorable stuff just the junk that you've been carrying with you. Take a moment to really look around your home  - what are the things you really need versus the stuff that's just taking up space.

I thought I had really made progress in 10 years and I still had 25 bags of donations and trash this time around. Not to mention I have sold over $500 in books, cd's and dvd's I no longer use.

You don't have to trash your whole house but see if there are little steps you can start to take to simplify your life. Remember once you de-clutter the physical,  the mental is soon to follow!

Life in OM: Healthy Changes to Your Diet

 

After twenty years of fighting with my weight and trying every diet under the sun, I finally feel like I have a handle on my eating habits.

My grandfather summed it up once by telling me that I needed to find an eating level. Well, I found mine so I thought I would share a few things I learned along the way.

Plan Ahead: plan meals, snacks and shopping lists so you're not just shoving food in when your starving.

Don't Eat Out: stay home and cook the food yourself that way you control the ingredients and the portion size.
 
Know Your Portions: until you know what a cup, tablespoon and ounce are use measuring cups, spoons and a scale.

Drink water: cut down on sugar, diet and caffeinated drinks.

Be Mindful: eat slowly and turn off the TV and the computer.

Eat: 3 meals a day (and one snack) every 3 to 4 hours and don't skip meals.

Healthy Snacks: get rid of those 100 calorie snack packs for a natural snack (apple with almond butter; hummus and carrots).

Beware of Fat Free Foods: they can have tons of sugar, cut down the portion and go for reduced or full fat.
 
Avoid Unhealthy Ingredients: don't eat anything if it has more than 5 ingredients or you can't pronounce them or if you don't know what they are. (hydrogenated = bad)

Know Your Food:  read labels and be aware of serving sizes. That drink might be 50 calories but if there are 4 servings in it, that bottle is 200 calories.

Avoid Processed Sugar: instead of juice have a piece of fruit; use raw or turbinated sugar instead of the white kind, avoid anything with high fructose corn syrup.

Balance Your Meals: try to eat a healthy carb, lean protein and good fat at each meal

Not All Carbs are Bad!: eat your fruits, veggies and whole grains (in moderation) daily.

Not All Fat is Bad!: eat nuts, avocado, and olive oil in moderation.

Know Your BMR: learn how many calories you need to live, by knowing your Basal Metabolic Rate. This is the amount of calories you need to live if you sat on the couch all day. If you're trying to lose weight you may want to reduce this amount but never go below 1200.

Track Your Calories: I know this part really stinks but in the beginning you do need to learn how much you can eat so you don't overeat. Once you know what 1300 or 1400 calories looks like each day then you don't have to be so meticulous. Try http://www.livestrong.com/myplate.

Don't Eat After 8pm: Let your body really break it's fast in the morning by not eating too late. Your metabolisim slows down at night so let it rest.

Get Rid of the Scale: pay attention to how you feel. Incessant weighing is unhealthy and you want a lifestyle change not a quick fix.

Live a Little: splurge once a month if you're really craving something. We only have one life and if you feel like having a piece of cheesecake or a Ben and Jerry's ice cream do it! Just don't do it every week.

Move: (more on this in my next post)

Life in Om: Take 5

 

I know it may seem impossible at times but we all have 5 minutes to spare for ourselves during the day.  Some of us might even have 10, but I won't push it.

So you find these 5 minutes, morning is preferable but if you can't do it then just find your spare 5 whenever you can.

Make sure it's quiet. This again may seem like an unattainable feat but seriously, if you have to go lock yourself in the bathroom- do it.

For this entire five minutes you are going to do absolutely nothing. You’re not going to talk, you’re not going to move and most importantly you’re not going to think.

All you're going to do is breathe and listen to your breathe.

Locate some kind of timer or alarm that you can set to go off in 5 minutes; you don't want to be distracted by constantly checking your watch.

Find a comfortable seat in your quiet place and bring yourself to total stillness. This is harder than you think so don't get frustrated but if you want your mind to calm, you have to start with the body.

Now take some deep full breaths. Count to 3 or 4 on the way in and count to 3 or 4 on the way out. When you feel your body begin to relax, return to your normal breath.

If you start thinking about work, the groceries or the 10 other things you could be doing during this time, start up that deep breath with the count again.

If you’re going to think about anything think about letting go.

Once your timer or alarm has beeped you can get up and start your day.

Congratulations, you just meditated.

Now you are probably asking why in the hell would I want to do this? 

Taking five minutes out of your day to focus on yourself can make all the difference between keeping a balanced, level head and being a stressed out disaster.

I try to do 5-10 minutes on weekdays and 20-30 minutes on the weekends and believe me my home and the world in general are a much safer place because of it!!

Sitting still or meditation is also extremely beneficial both physically and mentally.

You don't have to don robes and go sit in a cave for three hours either. It's an accessible practice that helps us grow and begin to understand ourselves better.

Happiness is about finding balance. By taking 5 minutes a day to be still we begin to counter the effects of our very hectic, active, and stressful lifestyles.

So take 5, then 10 or maybe even 20 if you have the time. Stick with it for at least 4 weeks and pay attention to how you feel. I promise you won't regret it.

 

Life in OM: Who Cares?!

Ok, I realize it may sound flippant, insensitive, and detached but a lot of us would fare much better in this life if every now and again we gave it a big WHO CARES!!

Obviously I'm not speaking of the important things like your health, your loved ones or the environment.

I'm talking about the person who didn't park within the lines, the person who forgot to invite you to a meeting, and the one who left the coffee pot empty.

Honestly,  if you let yourself be affected by all these little things, you will be one big, miserable mess.

What's the sense in getting outraged by your colleague down the hall who didn't come by and say hello, or the not so nice email from a co-worker who was having a crappy morning or maybe even with yourself for eating a dessert at lunch.

Seriously, you have better things to do then to allow yourself to get stressed about these things.

I've even developed a small test for this kind of thing,  I call it "The 100 years test".

In 100 years I'll be dead and will it really matter that someone forgot to make a new pot of coffee - probably not so much!!

It's a great litmus test to see what you should actually be concerned about and what you can just give a big WHO CARES!!!! to.

Life is too short to let the little things make you miserable. Remember you create your own happiness and you decide what's important!!

Life in OM: Recipe

 

It's October 16 and it's 41 degrees.

I am still fighting off a cold that I have had for at least two weeks.

It's time for some heavy duty healthy food to boost my immune system - Escarole and Bean Soup.

This is a dish that is at least three or four times as old as I am. My grandfather's mother used to make it for him all the time and we refer to it as an Italian "first dish".

It's warm, hearty, and healthy. It’s also vegetarian or vegan.

Escarole is a slightly bitter leafy green that is high in folic acid, fiber, and vitamins A and K.  The white beans are a creamy low fat, high fiber, source of protein. The two together create a tasty contrast that warms you from the inside out.

And most importantly it's so easy to make.

 

courtesy of www.foodnetwork.com

You will need:

one large pot

one head of escarole (cut in strips across starting at the head. leave about 2-3 inches of stalk)

two cans white or cannelloni or great northern beans (rinsed until there water runs clear)

5 cloves of garlic (chopped up small)

one small onion (chopped up small)

4-5 cups of water

1 tablespoon olive oil

1/4 cup parmesan cheese (optional for vegans)

Add oil to the pot and let it get hot.

Add garlic and onion and sauté until onion translucent.

Add escarole and cook 3-4 minutes till it wilts.

Add beans and gently stir.

Add water then parmesan.

Bring to a boil and then lower to a simmer for about 45 minutes.

You can cook this for less or for more, it depends on the consistency. I like less broth so I tend to make this dish early in the day and just keep it on a low simmer for a few hours. If it gets too thick add a bit more water.

You can garnish with more parmesan if you choose and serve with a piece of crusty Italian bread.

Tons of nutrients, great for you and so perfect on a very cold fall evening. Enjoy!

Life in OM: Relationships

 

Original artwork "Love in Paris" by perfectpostage http://bit.ly/1BcIdb

 

During my hiatus, my amazing partner asked me to marry him in Paris, at the top of the Eiffel Tower at twilight. It was romantic and wonderful and I consider myself a very lucky woman.

At this point in my life, I've had some failed relationships (to put it mildly) and I've had tons of time to work on my relationship with myself.

All of that combined gives me a great feeling of confidence and satisfaction with the relationship I am in now. I by no means know it all but I know what works for me.

Finding "your" significant other can be difficult but in my opinion, making it last is where the real effort comes in.  So I took some time to think about all of the things I believe make a relationship work for the long haul:

 

Smile at each other.

Don't nag -ask.

Take a breath and think before you speak.

Listen with care.

Pay attention to the little things.

Say please and thank you.

Let some things go.

Give each other space.

Support each others endeavors.

If you can't trust completely - rethink the relationship.

See things from the other's point of view.

Appreciate what you have and stop dwelling on what you don't.

Be realistic (No Cinderella's here!) but don't take crap either.

Be patient.

Hug daily (if not more!).

Talk, don't yell.

Honesty, honesty, honesty.

You can never have enough relationship wisdom so if you have anything to share, comment below!

Life in OM: There's No Crying in Yoga!

Actually, there is.

Sometimes there are ton's of tears and it is so very important for you to know that it's ok.

In fact, it's one of the best things that can happen to you.

Years ago I was attending my weekly yoga class when I went back into child's pose and started to cry. A few tears turned into a torrent and I rolled up my mat and raced to my car where I continued to sob like a baby.

I got so freaked out at my weakness that I stopped going.

Then the whole world came crashing in.

At the time, I had just experienced an awful break-up, was having extreme self-esteem issues and was punishing my body in every way possible.  My unhappiness with myself and everything in my world had reached new heights.

All of those emotions were pent up in my physical body as well as my mind and yoga was helping me release them, helping me heal.

Instead of giving myself that chance, I got scared and left.

Things went from bad to worse and everything just seemed to spiral out of control. Modern medicine was trying to "fix" me and I had zero interest in doing anything beneficial for myself.  

Nothing was helping and I was sick of everything.

Then, in a rare moment of clarity a thought popped into my head: life was better with yoga.  

Through the ups and downs of my time on this planet, life was always better with yoga.

I went back to my class with an open heart and again I cried. It was amazing, cathartic, healing...it was everything I couldn't give to myself. 

Getting my act together did not happen overnight and there are still rare moments when I feel less than 100% content with myself. But 7 years later I know I am a complete, whole person who isn't missing anything. 

My practice gave me this.

Don't be afraid if you turn on the waterworks during your vinyasas. Yoga helps us realize and release those emotions that begin to eat away at us in unhealthy ways.

Any good yoga teacher knows this and will make it as comfortable as possible for you to let go.

Yoga can do incredible things if you let it, including healing a person from the inside out, so rest assured that tears in your yoga class are excellent and nothing to be ashamed of.

Life in OM: Weekly Wellness

Transforming an unhealthy way of eating into a healthy one can be very daunting. Especially if you are used to eating a lot of processed foods on the go.

Instead of making sweeping changes that will end up being too difficult and frustrate you to the point of diving head first into a bag of potato chips, try to make small adjustments.

Try to eat one piece of fruit with your lunch 3 times a week for one month. Forgo the 100 calorie snack pack of chips or an energy bar or some other processed snack.

Pick your favorite fruit or try something new. If you're on a budget, look for what's on sale that week at your grocery and try it. Experiment and find out what you like.

Although those 100 calorie snack packs are convenient and low in calories (if you can eat just one),  not all calories are created equal.

An apple or a cup of grapes provides tons of nutrients not found in baked cheetos! Your body will thank you for it.

Remember to take small steps and take the change one day at a time. Enjoy!!

Life in OM: Happy? Miserable? It's Your Choice

 

Life is unfair.

Really, it is.

The thought might leave you feeling powerless, deflated, defeated.

Never fear though, you have a power mightier than anything life can throw at you: the power of choice.

You can choose to react without thinking, you can choose to let something eat at you,  you can choose to become angry, you can choose to be miserable.

Or you can choose to stay calm, you can choose to take a breath and think before reacting, you can choose to walk away, you can choose to look at things positively, you can choose to find joy whenever you can.

Take a moment to think about all the things that weigh you down. Ultimately, you have a choice whether you are going to let them affect you negatively or positively.

Example #1, you're driving to work when someone cuts you off. They pull up next to you, screaming that you were driving too slow and call you a terrible name before driving off. 

You have the choice to scream right back, get completely stressed out, let it put you in a foul mood, and ruin your morning as you spend hours ruminating over the incident.  Meanwhile the guy calling you names has forgotten all about it.

Or you can take a deep breath, choose not to react, let him scream and yell as you drive off. You have chosen to remain calm, you have chosen not to let something so trivial effect your entire mind and body, you have chosen to walk (or drive) away.

Example #2- something a bit more tragic. You get dumped. You have every right to feel sadness, anger, betrayal...the list goes on and on. There are countless emotions you will go through and you need to feel every one of them. Remember that choice is not denial. We have feelings and we need to let ourselves sit with them.

But that doesn't mean we want to wallow in them. There will come a point where you will choose to become negative, choose to feel sorry for yourself, choose to mope around being miserable.

Or you can choose to move on, choose to look at the break-up as a positive force for change in your life, choose to let you inner happiness and self love shine through, choose to find someone else or not. 

Choosing to be your own source of happiness and contentment is not easy. You need to learn to not react to every conflict and that takes practice. It also takes some getting to know yourself. You need to be able to step outside your current situation and try to look at it from a different perspective.

The best way to start to do this is through spending some time just sitting alone, quietly, doing nothing but breathing, otherwise known as Meditation. I'll save Meditation basics for another post but for now just try to take 5 minutes in the morning to sit and breath without distraction.

Then start to pay attention. There are countless moments during the course of our lives where we can choose to make ourselves miserable or choose to protect our contentment.

You create and take away your own happiness, no person or thing can do that to you unless you let it.

It's your choice.